Concerning the ruling of keeping a disbeliever mother company | The official website of Sheikh Muhammad Ali FERKUS
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Friday 6 Rabî` Al-'Awwal 1442 H - October 23, 2020 G

Fatwa n° 292
Category: Miscellaneous Fatwas - Etiquettes

Concerning the ruling of keeping
a disbeliever mother company

Question:
What is the ruling of residing with a disbeliever mother?

Answer:
All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds. Peace and blessing be upon whom Allah sent as a mercy to the Worlds, upon his Family, his Companions and his Brothers till the Day of Resurrection.

The mother should be obeyed and treated with goodness and kindness. We should also consort with her kindly even though she is a disbeliever but with disavowing her Shirk (ascribing partners to Allah) and trying to invite her to Islam. This should be the case with all the relatives. In fact, hating disbelievers and polytheists does not mean that it is permissible to wrong them whether by words or acts, Allah عزَّ وجلَّ said:

﴿وَإِنْ جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَى أَنْ تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلاَ تُطِعْهُمَا وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا﴾ [لقمان: 15].

The meaning of the verse:

But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly﴿ [Luqmân: 15].

Allah عزَّ وجلَّ also said:

﴿وَاعْبُدُوا اللهَ وَلاَ تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا وَبِذِي الْقُرْبَى وَالْيَتَامَى وَالْمَسَاكِينِ وَالْجَارِ ذِي الْقُرْبَى وَالْجَارِ الْجُنُبِ وَالصَّاحِبِ بِالجَنْبِ وَابْنِ السَّبِيلِ وَمَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ﴾ [النساء: 36].

The meaning of the verse:

Worship Allâh and join none with Him in worship, and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, Al-Masâkin (the poor), the neighbor who is near of kin, the neighbor who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and those (slaves) whom your right hands possess﴿ [An-Nissâ' (The Women): 36].

The Prophet صلَّى الله عليه وسلَّم told the man who came to him to ask who of people is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship: “Your mother”. The man said: “Who is next?”. The Prophet صلَّى الله عليه وسلَّم said: “Your mother”. The man said: “Who is next?”. The Prophet صلَّى الله عليه وسلَّم said: “Your mother”. The man said: “Who is next?”. The Prophet صلَّى الله عليه وسلَّم said: “Your father”(1).

Thereupon, the hate of disbelievers does not prevent from acquitting their rights and behave with them properly; Allah عزَّ وجلَّ said:

﴿لاَ يَنْهَاكُمُ اللهُ عَنِ الَّذِينَ لَمْ يُقَاتِلُوكُمْ فِي الدِّينِ وَلَمْ يُخْرِجُوكُمْ مِن دِيَارِكُمْ أَنْ تَبَرُّوهُمْ وَتُقْسِطُوا إِلَيْهِمْ إِنَّ اللهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُقْسِطِينَ﴾ [الممتحنة: 8].

The meaning of the verse:

Allâh does not forbid you to deal justly and kindly with those who fought not against you on account of religion nor drove you out of your homes. Verily, Allâh loves those who deal with equity.﴿ [Al-Mumtahana (The Woman to be examined): 8].

The perfect knowledge belongs to Allah سبحانه وتعالى. Our last prayer is all praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds. Peace and blessing be upon our Prophet, his Family, his Companions and his Brothers till the Day of Resurrection.

 

Algiers, Sha`bân 26th, 1426 H
September 30th, 2005



(1) Reported by Al-Bukhâri in the chapter of “Good behavior” (Hadith 5971) and Muslim in the chapter of “Virtue, good manners and joining of the ties of relationship” (Hadith 6664), from the hadith of Abu Hurayra رضي الله عنه.